Interpret as you will

I've been pretty busy getting ready for Kate to move in (today!) so I thought I'd let Obie write his own blog entry and see what he comes up with. Obie's been an expert with computers since an early age, and is always finding new shortcuts on my computer that I didn't even know about, like how to search within a webpage, or the shortcut way to change your homepage to www.8.com, or how to delete an entire Word document I hadn't saved yet. When he was really young he found a way to turn the Speak function on so that everything I did on the computer was first announced by a computerized male voice, and it took me a good two days to figure out how to turn it off. He loves to open the Spotlight feature or Google and search for his own special emoticons and phrases. Several members of D1 have always been convinced he's an evil alien sent to destroy us, especially since the time he opened Mapquest on Maia's computer and searched for a location that doesn't even make sense in our language. "He's trying to go home!" she said. Let's see what he has for us today:

op0--- o0l- p;.[[[
455555555ikoko.;/'op;l tttttjjkd
dkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeexvvvvvnnnnnnnnp
qqqdudduuuuuuujjjjjjjcccccccccccc w
000000000
fkkl3.......32lkkkkkkkkk

He just heard the front door open and went sprinting off to investigate so I guess that's all we'll get for today. If anyone has an idea as to what Obie is trying to say here, please let me know. In the meantime I will be changing my homepage back to Google, instead of www.duiiiiiiffffffffft9.com

Happy Memorial Day!

Obie and I have been home about a week now, and I think we're both settling in to our summer routines of extreme leisure. Obie has made himself completely at home, though he is still pining for Sadie, who doesn't seem to be budging. She does now tolerate his presence in a room if he doesn't look at or touch her, or if one or both of them are sleeping:


But overall she is still steadfastly against him, and refuses to even hang out with his friends. Here's a video of when Toot Toot tried to play wingman:



Obie mostly takes out his pain on the rest of us, by shattering my mom's glass candle holders, eating the flowers we got for the kitchen table, and going fishing for my brother's Beta.

Love is a battlefield, my friends. Heartache to heartache, we stand.

(My mom wasn't too mad about the candle holders, by the way, after I explained to her that Obie was just expressing his expert decorating opinion, and that she should look at it as an opportunity to redecorate.)

Love is in the air

We've all been there. Madly in love with someone who won't even give you the time of day, who acts like a huge asshole to you when you make attempts to interact, who pretends to hate you in public but you know it's just because it's high school and it's a popularity contest and really he knows deep down that even though you were in the marching band and really good at math that you are the only real person at this school and he really wanted to ask you to the prom but then people would have talked and he was up for prom king after all...

I'm sorry, where was I? Oh right, Obie. Obie has fallen madly in love with Sadie, is what I was trying to say, but Sadie's been sending some pretty mixed signals. Those of us who lived with Obie are familiar with his attempts to express his..."love". You can watch his attempts to flirt with Sadie here:



As you can see, Sadie's playing pretty hard to get. But Obie's always been a determined little thing, and he's not giving up. Embarrassed by the weight he put on during college he's started working on his fitness, as Fergie would say, to try to win Sadie over. He no longer walks anywhere. Instead he runs full sprint to wherever he needs to be, no matter what is standing in his way, and despite the fact that we have hardwood floors, so occasionally he skitters around the corner and straight into a wall. Sometimes he carries Toot Toot with him for some added weight training.

But all is not lost, Sadie did let him sit by her when she was completely and wholly distracted by some doves that were pecking around outside.

Sadie and Obie hunt doves

Obie didn't really get the whole "don't let them notice you" part

Don't worry, Obie was a frat bro in college. He knows that persistence and a "No means yes" attitude is the key to any woman's heart. He'll have her fetching beerx and sandwiches for him while he farts and watches the game in no time.

Admit it, you miss him already

This blog is mostly for Maia who, when we were leaving Kenyon, turned to Obie and said, "Oh Obie, I'll miss you the most" (bitch) but also for all of the other "fans" Obie accumulated over the year he lived in the D1geon. Talking about Obie and imagining him in human situations (on a business trip, as an evil dictator, as a gay man living in the Hamptons) became D1's favorite past time, and hopefully this blog will in some way ease the debilitating separation anxiety I'm sure all of you are experiencing.

After receiving his tiny diploma (Summa cum laude, Highest Honors in his Synoptic major: Evil Studies), Obie spent all day on Saturday hiding underneath our bathroom sink in what I took to be a deep depression at the thought of graduating, but what also may have been fear of the vacuum cleaner. I loaded him into the car around 7 p.m., abandoned him there while we ate dinner at Jake's, and finally around 9 my mom pried my fingers out of their death grip on Kenyon and we hit the road. We made it all the way to Dayton before I started hallucinating from sleep deprivation and we pulled off to find a hotel. We stopped at a Comfort Inn, which I have stayed at TWICE with pets. HOWEVER, when my mom mentioned to the lady behind the desk, "Oh, we also have a little black cat with us," she gave us a look of utter disdain and sneered, "Oh, we don't take pets." This blatant racism was then repeated at the Hampton Inn, until we finally found a Holiday Inn Express that would deign to let us stay in a smoking room. Obie was at first very put out by the whole discrimination experience (he didn't even want to play in the bathtub when I turned the tap on for him) but eventually recovered, and started jumping from bed to bed with Toot Toot in his mouth which, my mom pointed out, is exactly what my brothers and I used to do in hotel rooms (minus Toot Too. I think.).

Obie and Toot Toot enjoy Holiday Inn Express

The following morning, after my mom and I agreed to not set an alarm and to "wake up when we woke up," my mom woke us up at 6:45 a.m. to hit the road. Obie, experienced roadtrip cat that he is, spent the day taking a luxurious 11 1/2 hour nap, except when we stopped at an Arby's in Indiana and I let him out to roam the car while my mom and I sat inside and ate. He made friends with a group of local thugs with piercings and tattoos, who cooed, "Aw lookit the kitty!" at him through the window before putting their tough faces back on and swaggering into the Arby's.

11 1/2 hours in the lap of luxury

We finally made it home around 7 p.m. and I tried to keep him locked in my room for about five minutes before he bolted out the door to find Sadie, my other cat who is even more evil than Obie, but in a fatter, lazier sort of way. They really "bonded" over winter break and Obie was eager to rekindle that magical friendship. Sadie, unfortunately, has other plans, and has spent all of today hiding from Obie in the only place he so far hasn't found her.

Sadie's genius hiding spot (she's somewhere in this picture)

Obie misses you all, and I'll try to keep everyone updated on his adventures. I also eventually hope to regain some sort of life, however, so I can't make any big promises.